Editors Note: This is an update to my two columns on “What to Say and NOT to Say” written in January 2000 and May 2002. This is by far the topic I spend the most time on in my learning programs. Plus new list clients email me daily asking “Alexis I do not know how to start a conversation, or answer the many questions that owners ask me, HELP.” This is a big topic to discuss in one article, but I will make sure you have the main points understood.
As a real estate investor trainer, I am shocked at how many books, tapes, seminars and websites that sell “The Magic Pill” with “buying secret tips and strategies” that will make you a millionaire overnight – with none of them spending a single minute on the Art of Dealing with People.
How can this be? How can you expect to do a single deal, if you are shot down on your first call? Unless you have the thickest skin in the world, you will be done with that client and will call the next. How many will you have to call to get through to one? 100? 1000? The numbers are not pretty.
But what if you knew how to approach the owner, so they would TRUST YOU enough to tell you their true financial hardship story, so you can help them? How would it feel to make 10 calls and get an appointment with a cooperative owner in default, who is interested in hearing what you have to say? What would that be worth to you? I would say a lot more than any of those “secret millionaire systems”.
(If you have not already done so, please read “How do You Achieve Trust and Confidence?” next.)
1) Your Introduction: What NOT to Say:
- Hi X, based on public record information you are going to lose your home. I am an investor who pays all cash and can close quickly.
- What are your loans?
- What is the equity in your home?
- Where will you be moving to?
- How much cash would it take to get this done today?
- When can we meet?
2) Your Introduction: What TO Say:
- (Be friendly I can’t say enough how important the tone of your voice is. People can really hear if you are talking with a smile or frown.)
- Hi X, this is X. I understand you’re having a tough time with your house and I wondered how I could help?
- How did this happen?
- What have you been doing to keep your home?
- Who have you spoken to?
- What will you do if that doesn’t work out?
If you are observant you will have noticed a very big difference in the two approaches. The first investor approach was all about the house and the deal and the money the investor would make. The second approach was about the person and their situation and how you can help.
When you sincerely focus on the person in trouble, they will find comfort in talking to you. You will sound “different’ and now you know why. You are not a “shark” like all the other investors out there. You are there for THEM. When you stop caring about your profits and put other people first, that is when success will find you.
This is very difficult for new investors to grasp. That is why I have my Great Thinkers columns every month. If you are reading them, you will have absorbed this concept –
“How do you deserve a fortune? Render fortunes of service.” Jim Rohn
You will find I am a big believer in studies of Personal Development and what I believe and teach goes back to the basic principle of the “Golden Rule”. I constantly read new books to keep my skills sharp. (You can check out my Recommended Reading list here).
3) Next you will have to deal with how to answer their questions – Who Are You? Why Are You Calling Me?
You will quickly realize that whoever is asking the questions is in control. And your goal is to be the one who asks the questions. So you will never get me to “give you an answer” when someone asks you a question. Instead, I will show you how to answer their question briefly and honestly and then ask them a question back, all in one sentence. That way, you stay in control and it gets them talking and you listening. Your goal is to better understand their situation! Like this:
Oh, I’m sorry, this is X, I live nearby in X, and I help folks in situations like yours… so, how did this happen? (Pause and listen. Do not answer their questions for them, and do not guess what their answer will be!)
4) You Will Also Hear Many Objections Like These:
- No Thanks. I’ve Got it All Taken Care Of.
- I don’t know what you are talking about.
- You’ve got the wrong number/person.
- My spouse is handling it.
Remember the goal – to find out their true situation so you can help them find a solution (it may or may not be to sell their house to you). So that means you have to DIG for the truth with open ended (who, what, where, when, why, how) thought-provoking questions. Their stories will not come to you easily. In fact, it will not come to you at all until the 4th or 5th time you ask.
This is an amazing fact… that most folks will disguise or embellish their situation… just as they do when they talk to their family or friends. Do not be upset about their lack of truthfulness, just expect it! Never ASSUME you understand their needs. Every person is different, and needs to be treated as such. What ever you do, do not sound like a greedy investor who just came from a “get rich quick seminar”!
Your best comeback is to ask them back what they said to you. Like this:
- Great, how did you take care of it?
- Maybe I have the wrong person. Do you live at X and have a loan with Y and fell behind on Z? (they say “oh that”) So what are you doing to keep your home?
- So does your spouse do all the bills? (if yes) When will she/he be home?
5) Finally what ever you do NEVER GIVE ADVICE TOO SOON!
Too many investors give free advice without understanding the owner’s situation first. They start talking up “all the sellers options“. They think they are helping the owner, but they are actually boring them to death. Not only will the seller not hear you, but you will sound like one of those used car salesman that talks too much and you just want to shut them up!
(If you have not already done so, please read the “Great Listeners Make Great Property Buyers” next.)
Getting an owner to talk to you all boils down to asking the right questions in the right way and showing that you care about them (not just their house and your profits). Without these skills you will not find success. I know it’s tough to learn these People and Sales Skills in just one column. That is why I have created my learning programs – both by home study and in person in my offices for 3 days – to show you what I do and exactly how I do it
You will find that learning from my 20 years of both success and mistakes is much quicker than learning on your own (on the very expensive “street of hard knocks”). My concern with any new client who “goes it alone” and does not complete my learning programs first is not just the deals he or she might miss – but worse yet, the deal done that should NOT have been done that now leaves the investor buried financially!
There is much to learn about how to approach sellers: What to say, what not to say, timing over the phone what questions to ask, when to ask them, etc…. all without sounding like an interrogator, and just keeping the conversation going. This is a people business we are in; there is no way around it. You need to get really good at opening up people who are shut down and get them to talk about themselves. Without that ability, you are going nowhere.
Good luck and happy investing…
Alexis
The foregoing has been prepared for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
The information is summary in nature and does not address any particular situation.
Readers should not act upon this information but should instead seek professional legal advice.
